Insights from the Wild

A channeled message from the Wilderness.

Tell them that freedom is theirs to claim, that chaos and order are one in the same.  All the structures are imagination-made.  The rules are final and are just chains to hold you back from the freedom you crave.  Connect with earth, she will show you power.  The current establishments are not true power; they are simple fear and distrust, hate and greed, they are not able to withstand the pure power of love.  Love for truth, love for self, love for you, love for me.  Stand for what you believe in and hold onto the true power.  Love isn’t always soft and kind.  This love that is brewing is strong and brutal.  Love can be chaos, love can be strength, love can never never be hate.  Approach all you do with love in your heart, love for those you care for, love for those you wish to protect, love for the innocent, love for those who got caught up in this mess.  Not everyone who is wrong is evil, though there are definitely a few.  All should pay for their actions, but no need to be extra cruel.  Dole out punishments with fairness and trust that those who truly are evil will never see rest. 

During this time, some will be out fighting the way you do, others will stay behind to protect those close to you.  Some have started the process to reconnect with us, to reawaken the communication between humans and spirits, to help the unseen be visible again, to gain the trust of former allies who can help put everything back together again.  

In order, in balance, in chaos and truth, adjust your perceptions of what can be true.  This has been coming since the day it left.  The world is meant for everyone to thrive, not just a few select men.

My Life as a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Sometimes I feel like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich whose tummy is sensitive to peanuts.

Sometimes life can be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  One with a perfect ratio of bread to sticky peanut butter to sweet jelly, satisfies a sweet tooth and fills you up; the ideal lunch for all.  All peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are basically the same taste, texture, and look.  Variations are allowed, such as crunch vs. smooth or jelly flavor, but go too far and you are no longer fit the mold.  

Everyone loves a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, unless you are sensitive to peanuts.  At first, there are no noticeable reactions to the peanut butter, but as the exposure continues, the reactions increase.  Reactions that go unnoticed slowly morph into a tummy ache for no apparent reason.  Continued exposure leads to increased intensity in the reactions, causing the tummy ache to become a full-fledged, lying on the bathroom floor, feeling grateful for the cold tile, waiting for the next wave of nausea. 

Great visual, right?  But how is that like life?  What in the world are you going on about?  Well, life is like that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, my life, at least.  Growing up, trying to fit into roles expected of you, squishing your loud and visible parts into the little quiet and still version required.  At first, it’s fine, a little uncomfortable, but if you just fit into this little box labeled normal, there will be no more yelling, the other kids will be your friends, and everyone will be happy and love you.   

But that isn’t what happens.  The yelling keeps going, kids still think you are weird, no one is happy, and you are always in the way, and it’s all your fault because you couldn’t be normal, be good.  You keep trying harder and harder, shoving the parts that make you happy down, eventually focusing on being as invisible and quiet as possible; if they don’t see or hear you, you won’t bother them.  Smile and nod, be complacent; it’s safer if you just give people what they want from you.

Inside, it feels like you are slowly disintegrating.  Your body reacts, slowly at first, with tummy aches, getting sick easily, and being sleepy all the time.  You are told you are too young to have body aches, and you are just being dramatic.  So you push on.  As time passes, your days are spent pushing yourself past your limits to fit in, while that attempt to fit in is, in turn, slowly destroying you.  

Do you even exist anymore?  Or have you become a robot, going through each day doing what others expect, ignoring what your body needs to the point that you no longer even hear your body screaming for help?  That is where I was, just like being a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that can’t handle peanuts, I was being a normal adult, who can’t handle being normal. 

Eventually, my body and mind were done with screaming with me and began to shut down.  I couldn’t think; my thoughts felt like they were covered in thick fur, and I couldn’t hold onto them or put them together.  I had no balance and could not stay awake.  It was done, done with trying to be what society expected of an adult.  

Now I am rebuilding my life around my core values, my needs, and my wants.  I am focusing on my interests and adjusting how I approach life to work with my strengths.  I failed to live the normal life society decided I must, not because I am a failure, but because I am not the normal that life was made for.  In fact, I am not sure such a person exists.  I am weird and full of whimsy and magic.  I am neurodivergent and full of contradictions.  

I am K, and my life is an ever-adjusting reflection of who I am.  If you also feel like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that is sensitive to peanuts, I can help you remove the peanuts from your life and rebuild it in a way that is supportive and accepting of you as an individual.